Frequency: In America? Are you kidding me? There's a prison in every school district.
Inherent Survivor Hazards: Left over prisoners. I suggest that during the initial zombie-clearing sweep of the prison, any surviving prisoners be "mistaken" for zombies. Wink wink. And by "wink wink" I mean kill them all. Except for the pedophiles. They are simply misunderstood and mightily yearn for their rightful place in the emerging society of a post-apocalyptic world.
Inherent Zombie Hazards: Prisons are always filled with shotguns and riot gear. Riot gear is not only a wonderful sexual fantasy aid, but is extremely useful in guarding against bites and scratches. Shotguns are, of course, covered in the weapon reviews section.
Fences, spotlights (assuming you’ve got the generators going), and watchtowers are also excellent zombie defense tools. The high fences will keep the zombies out, but you must make sure to maintain them and fully understand the zombie-restraining tolerances of each section of fencing. Any fence will topple to a big enough horde of pressing shamblors. The watchtowers will be essential to prevent munched medulla oblongatae. Zombies are not known for their clever military strategies or stealthy ninja-like abilities. Put a couple of people in a watchtower and they will be able to spot approaching zombies very quickly during the daytime. At night it is advisable to rig up some noise/proximity alarms to alert the lookouts, who should then use the spotlights to illuminate the encroaching undead for easy shooting. Pots on strings is an example of a basic setup. For the more experienced survivor, an intelligent alarm comprised of forcibly immobilized and highly expendable bait will work wonders (old people and/or orphans capable of high volume are ideal). Admittedly that particular set-up will become less viable and produce more false alarms as the more natural North American predators (e.g. cougars, wooly mammoths, wolves, lumberjack sloths, coyotes, Jehovah’s Witnesses, etc.) begin to creep back into an ecosystem unimpeded by humanity. Oh yeah, one more thing. For godssakes make sure the lookouts are sexually incompatible. Nothing will bring about the infestation of your prison haven faster than arbitrary scrogging in the watchtowers.
If you're really lucky, the prison may come with one or more crazy serial killers. The irony can be quite satisfying when a cannibalistic loon is eating a befuddled zombie. Normally I’m not one to encourage hotdogging of any form, but if one has access to enough insane psychotics it may be possible to singlehandedly revive the great lost tradition of the traveling vaudeville show employing only captured zombies and homicidal nutjobs. Surely such a thing would revitalize a crushed nation’s spirit. I’m sorry, but what did you just say? Don't call you what? No goddammit, you listen to me, Shirley. Shut the fuck up and listen when I'm fucking talking. Christ!!
General Tactics: Assuming the clearing stage is successful, there's every reason to believe a self-sustaining society could be born here and flourish. There will be plenty of food initially since prisons all have deeply stocked pantries. There will be plenty of land for farming since prisons are almost always located in rural areas. The high walls and fences, if properly maintained, will be excellent for keeping zombies out. There will be generators to ease the eventual transition from an electrical wall socket based society to a fossil fuel based one. With some basic modifications the many cells can be made into fine little apartments with room and privacy enough for even the most finicky.
Safety Rating: 9 out of 10. This really is a fine choice for survivors. The irony here is also appealing to this reviewer. A place so many of the zd.o founding members have struggled so long and hard to avoid becomes a most desirable haven. Oh God, you devil.*
* Rule # 24, subsection B - " Never ever trust George Burns."
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