Frequency: In the US, they’re everywhere. Doesn’t matter if you’re in the most rural town, or the largest metropolis, there seems to be a place of worship every few hundred yards (even if you ignore the ones located in shitty rundown strip malls).
Inherent Survivor Hazards: Varies widely by location and denomination. If you’re in rural Appalachia, you might have to deal with rattlesnakes and strychnine. Boston residents may well have to face off against long-entrenched pedophiles. But really, the biggest hazard will be the members of the faith who have decided to come to that house of worship. And I’m not talking about the ones who’ll shoot you in the face because God hates homosexuals, or folks who watch porn, or promote stem cell research, or favor a woman’s right to choose, or whatever they’re all mad about when they ought to just be trying to help people. That is a very vocal minority, who will most likely assume this is the Rapture and be busy trying to live out their poorly written Left Behind fantasies. No, I mean the people who have come because they expect their God to help them. They don’t want to survive. They want to be saved. And when the zomblors come, they will be worse than dead weight.
Inherent Zombie Hazards: Relatively few. Houses of worship are designed so that large numbers of people can troop in and out of them week after week without incident. Also, the congregation poses little threat. That said, there is potential for comedy. Who wouldn’t want to pancrack a zombie with the tablets of the Ten Commandments in a synagogue? Or put a shamblor up on a crucifix (or rather, a different shamblor)?
General Tactics: You can’t stay here. Most have several large entry points, enormous decorative windows begging to be shattered, little stock of food, and are located centrally to serve as large a population as possible, guaranteeing near-constant onslaughts of the walking dead. Your only real hope is to make the congregation understand that survival is not in the hands of some deity, but in theirs. This would give you an instant army, and possibly make you the Messiah of some religion arising centuries from now when humanity has rebuilt and the necropalypse has passed into legend.
Safety Rating: 1 out of 10. The idea of a ready-made fanatical army with you as their Prophet-King might seem tempting, but trust us, the juice is not worth the squeeze.
Back to Top