Some people learn best by example. Maybe you're one of those sorts who needs to hear a lesson repeatedly before you "get it." Maybe that very repetition just means you're stupid and not all that quick. On the other hand, perhaps you need to visually see someone making a mistake to be educated. The expert staff at zd.o have assembled this page to help all of you with your various preferred anti-undead learning styles.
Drew C. Mendenhall
Dr. Hawking's zd.o Audio Journal
"Dr. Stephen Hawking's
Welcome" [ mp3 | 72 sec ]zd.o is delighted to welcome the legendary Stephen Hawking to its list of contributors. His introductory statement is an important warning to the masses.
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: A New Homeworld" [ mp3 | 75 sec ]
The most important British physicist since Newton turns his razor-focus on possible escape routes for a planet (and associated fewchor) riddled with shamblors. Let's just say it has something to do with everyone's favorite treats: Christ and crabs.
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: Impersonators?" [ mp3 | 60 sec ]
Stephen Hawking has heard that impersonators are trying to take adavantage of his famous name. His love of nebulae will not allow this to continue.
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: The World's Only BCI Poet Laureate?" [ mp3 | 111 sec ]
Suddenly convinced he's a man of letters, Hawking recites a bit of shamblor-related prose poetry. Maria's totally getting fired.
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: Hardcore Encore" [ mp3 | 130 sec]
In a bold manoeuvre to establish his cultural relevance, Dr. Hawking reaches out to Generation Z with a tender rap about his hydrocephalic mistress, Jessica.
**Totally safe for the entire family!**
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: Naturalist and Diplomat" [ mp3 | 121 sec]
Eager to reveal his naturalistic talents, Hawking examines the melodic song of the Carolina Wren. But what of the Crab Nebula?!
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: Please, Not My Good Towels" [ mp3 | 135 sec ]
Taking matters into his own useless hands, he finally gets a moment to himself. Without Maria constantly bothering him, will Hawking finally reveal the secrets of his incredible mind?
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: Probably High" [ mp3 | 112 sec ]
We tried to make up a clever intro for this one, but we're pretty sure that someone got Dr. H pretty fucking wasted.
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: A Cripple Scorned" [ mp3 | 58 sec ]
JonboiAZ, zd.o Operative - Region 6, has done it this time. Asserting that Professor Hawking has a Welsh Canadian accent is one thing, but Tori Spelling? Holy fucking shit. This has gone too far minus 58 seconds.
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: Time Machine" [ mp3 | 146 sec ]
Finally, we've received a new broadcast from Dr. Hawking. Evidently, he's been at the bottom of the sea causing mass extinctions, marrying John Tesh, and killing Hitler.
"Dr. Stephen Hawking: Broken Voicebox" [ mp3 | 58 sec ]
Hawking clearly didn't intend for us to hear this one. Thanks for the good work in getting it to us, Maria.
Deep Blue's zd.o Audio Journal
"Deep Blue's Welcome/Rebuttal to Hawking" [ mp3 | 70 sec ]
It is fucking on. Hawking is called out by his only spiritual nemesis - a TRUE machine. The zd.o staff is pleased to welcome this new contributor.
Exclusive zd.o Podcasts
zd.o Podcast #1 - "Barbara, how about paying the fuck attention?"
zd.o keeps a collective finger firmly on the pulse of youth culture. As such, we know that the kids these days *love* podcasts. Keeping with our educational mission, we will be offering a series of original podcasts on this site on various pressing topics within the broad field of zombie preparedness. This initial podcast by Drew C. Mendenhall offers a careful dissection of the lessons to be learned from the opening scene of Romero's Night of the Living Dead. This particular podcast can be played independently of the documentary or by synchronizing with the first eight or so minutes of the film. (While we are working out the details of RSS and XML for a totally proper podcast system, feel free to simply right click and save the above 160kbps MP3.)
zd.o Podcast #2 – "Gustav/Spelling Vagrant Infection Survey Iteration #117"
zd.o has always been very proud of our research lab and its dedicated staff of scientists and technicians who daily strive to keep on the bleeding edge of zombology. This podcast is a little glimpse into the whirlwind of science that commonly takes place in the zd.o headquarters. If any career counselors are listening, you’ll be excited to know that zd.o has an extensive intern program aggressively geared towards helping young people ease into the somewhat esoteric field of zombie survival.
zd.o Podcast #3 – "You're Hired"
zd.o is always looking to recruit the cream of the nation's collegiate crop. This clip was recorded in early 2006 as two junior research staff posed as UNICEF recruiters in an effort to act as human centrifuge, separating out unworthy candidates from those precious few who are uniquely suited to our research interests. And we all got totally high.
Video
Night of the Living Dead (Romero - 1968)
Far and away one of the most popular and insightful of all zombie-related documentaries. Do not be fooled by the black & white filmstock into thinking there is nothing you can learn from this footage. It is ripe with valuable lessons. Hosted by the Internet Archive and available in both downloadable and streaming formats.
Audio
"Zomblor - Live!" by Greensboro, NC's Miss Coote's Confession
Former John Wayne Gacy/DC frontman Kevin Ricker has embarked on a new sonic odyssey. He's brought along his songs, and let's just say the ol' zomblor benefits from drums and electrics. Hearing is believing.
"Zomblor" by John Wayce Gacy/DC - 320kbps MP3 || 256kbps MP3
For those who prefer an acoustic rock sensation, this underground one-man rock army unleashes a fiery musical exploration of the entire Romero Dawn of the Dead documentary in just over five minutes. Hearing is still believing.
Party Invitations
He is Risen, THEY ARE RISING - Easter-themed Party Invitation
Easter is one of those rare days where the eyes of a sizeable portion of the population are focused on the undead. While we would firmly argue that this level of focused concentration should be present at all times, we’re also not about to look a gift donkey in the mouth. Therefore, in honor and recognition of the world’s most celebrated shamblor, zd.o has prepared a Microsoft Word template you can use for creating invitations to your own pre-Easter zombie preparedness party. The party itself is a relatively simple event. Simply contact people that you know and/or care about, tell them to come over to your place, feed and/or liquor them up a little bit and then make them watch the preparedness documentary of your choice. While we would suggest something from the original Romero trilogy, there are lessons to be learned from many of the documentaries on the market. Remember – while he may have died originally for you, his next death will be for the continued security of all of society.
Miscellanea
The Crab Pulsar has a Posse - 1024 x 768 Wallpaper
Do you support PSR B0531+21 in its endeavors? That's what I thought. You don't want 1028 Watts of power all up in your mouth and neither does your bitch-ass moms.
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